Why do narcissists send flying monkeys?

Are you familiar with the term flying monkeys? 

• If you’ve ever had the misfortune of encountering a narcissist, you may have come across this peculiar phenomenon. But what exactly does it mean? Well, imagine a narcissist as the Wicked Witch of the West, and the flying monkeys as their loyal minions, doing their bidding without question. In the world of narcissistic abuse, flying monkeys are the enablers, the friends, family members, or acquaintances who willingly or unknowingly aid the narcissist in their manipulative tactics. But why do narcissists send these flying monkeys in the first place? Is it simply to bolster their own ego or is there a deeper motive behind it all? In this article, we’ll delve into the psychology behind this perplexing behaviour and shed light on the reasons why narcissists rely on their flying monkeys to carry out their destructive agenda. So, buckle up and prepare to unravel the secrets behind this narcissistic manipulation tactic.

• To comprehend why narcissists send flying monkeys, it’s essential to understand the nature of narcissistic behaviour. Narcissists have an excessive need for admiration, a lack of empathy, and an inflated sense of self-importance. They thrive on control and power, and when their ego is threatened or they feel criticized, they employ various manipulative tactics to protect their fragile self-image. One such tactic is using flying monkeys.

Flying monkeys are individuals who become allies or enablers of narcissists. 

• They may genuinely believe the narcissist’s distorted version of reality or simply be unaware of the narcissist’s true intentions. These flying monkeys are often manipulated through lies, guilt-tripping, or flattery by the narcissist to carry out their bidding. Whether consciously or unconsciously, the flying monkeys serve as conduits for the narcissist’s manipulation and provide a sense of validation to their distorted views.

• The use of flying monkeys by narcissists serves several psychological purposes. Firstly, it allows the narcissist to maintain a facade of innocence and victimhood while exerting control over their targets. By using others to do their bidding, narcissists can distance themselves from the consequences of their actions and avoid accountability. Secondly, it reinforces the narcissist’s need for validation and adoration. When the flying monkeys unquestioningly support the narcissist’s version of events, it boosts their ego and reinforces their belief in their superiority. Lastly, using flying monkeys allows narcissists to isolate their targets further. By turning others against the target, the narcissist weakens their support system and makes them more vulnerable to manipulation.

Identifying a flying monkey can be challenging, as they often appear well-meaning or oblivious to the narcissist’s manipulation. 

However, there are signs that can help identify their role. Firstly, flying monkeys often exhibit a lack of critical thinking or independent judgement. They blindly support the narcissist’s version of events without questioning or seeking the other side of the story. Secondly, they may engage in gossip or spreading rumors about the target, further perpetuating the narcissist’s narrative. Lastly, flying monkeys may exhibit a sudden change in behavior towards the target, becoming hostile or distant without any apparent reason.

• Turning a blind eye – Flying monkeys ignore the narcissistic person’s aggression.

• Vouching for the narcissist – Flying monkeys excuse and justify the narcissist’s behaviour. If the narcissist commits a crime, the flying monkey provides them with a false alibi.

• Smearing the recipient of the abuse – Flying monkeys participate in character assignation. They echo the narcissist’s talking points without verifying it. They don’t bother to seek out the recipient of the abuse and listen to their side of the story. Flying monkeys are instrumental in narcissistic scapegoating, i.e. DARVO.

• Data mining – Flying monkeys often act as spies for the narcissist. A common tactic they use is pretending to be a friend to the recipient of the abuse only to pump them for information and report back to the chief abuser.

• Acting as the narcissist’s emissary – Flying monkeys can also take on the role of the narcissistic person’s proxy, acting as their ambassador to carry messages to the recipient of the abuse. They may also negotiate or aggrees on the narcissist’s behalf.